I can't imagine what it was/is like for a Traveller even though I've known a few who are gay. I do know what it's like for someone who grew up in a very Catholic family in poverty in Darndale and Tallaght. Uber masculine, poorly educated as I was then living in a insular world that thought gay was some sort of sick camp freak with mental health issues. I hated the thought I might be a fag. Still debt collecting and being a bouncer, plumber, football coach, courier etc made me realise I'm just a bloke though women can do all that well too.
Even with my first love we were only together when very drunk or otherwise. The next day and sometimes for weeks we pretended we were straight. We even had girlfriends! I know in hindsight we both loved each other but ultimately at the time our individual self hatred destroyed US. He hung himself eventually as he couldn't live with being gay. I blame society on that and its unequal treatment, stereotyping and hatred of our kind. His death destroyed his family and almost me but I learned to overcome self pity from it. Just a waste of time and energy.
Issues around being gay can only be magnified I'd imagine for Travellers. Things are changing now for the positive though. No other human being knew I spent two tears grieving for a lost love. My fault. I never told them! They thought I was upset about my best mate which he was long before us and our 'relationship'. You see we were both very manly, loved and participated in our sports, drinking and all that other stereotypical butch shit. Actually today if I go to a gay bar its not rare that I'm even asked if I'm gay ffs! I find it hard to fit into either the straight or gay world still but have realised I'm just me living my life my way. Gay is just a part of me and my life. Gays tell me I'm straight and so do straights and no I ain't bi lol. I'm just me.
Anyway to answer your question I couldn't pretend anymore. I finally had enough and decided I was going to live me life in acceptance that I was born this way. So basically I said feck this I'm gonna tell my family and friends and rather than worrying what they thought of me I was going to make it crystal clear to them that if they had a problem with my sexuality I would evict them from my life for good. Ironic really as this had been my original fear! Again it's different for everyone. No one had a problem with it once they realised I was still the same person. I learned my mothers homophobia was actually just ignorance and she grew very found of a recent ex lol. All my fears were unfounded. I lost so much by missing out on all these supports and not sharing my life and partners lives with people I loved. Though to repeat myself it is different for everyone so I feel your pain.
Recently I've only hated being gay because of inequality, the media, sterotypes and because most gays I've met lack monogamous values etc. Other than that I was born gay so have to live with it so I got over it. There are some advantages too like great mates, opportunities to travel, career etc. Like in hindsight I'd never did anything with my life if I'd got a bird up the pole in Tallaght. I'd still be living there in me council gaff with loads of kids now with no plans or future.
Counselling was good for me and travel and ultimately self acceptance. Life is short. Enjoy it. Get over being gay and so will others
Sorry about the novel and feel free to PM me if you need to chat in confidence.