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 Personal poetry: Post and review

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1of-dem
G'al
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Thu Mar 04, 2010 5:42 pm

thanks guiney,
id love to start getting my sccript on here, however i want to see some other members getting something on here,,
i dont want to hog the thread lol..

midlands:",,,but he was still looking at his sexuality as a 15 year old ***(confused)*** and ***(scared)*** lad would have"

THE HIGHLIHGTED WORDS above are the words that explain how i knew he was looking at his sexuality as a 15 year old...how do i know,,, well thankfully i have lived thos years myself feeling thos feelings and finding it hard to cope with who i was,at 15,,and im sure most people here can relate to that. i say thankfully because it helps me recognise it in others..

when you say you dont overly care, thats very dismissive, and strange, as you cared enough to tell me you dont care, thats the true sign of an annoyed person. have i done or said something to upset you or cause you to take this attitude towards me, if so i apologise prefusely.

anyway id like to bring this thread back onto track ,,,no more disputing over my crap work lol...

peace Very Happy
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1of-dem
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Fri Mar 05, 2010 5:44 pm

this is a play i was working on,,now bare in mind this is my first ever attempt at a play, i have no experience or qualifications to do this type of thing.. please give tips or criticism to me,,all is welcome,, and as usual i want the good with the bad..

its a 3 act play,,here is the first act.,
oh by the way,,i use jokes that are used against travellers,but equally i use the ones that are used against settled people.

im sure everyone here is aware of my humour style,,some people like it and most dont lol..

anyway,.,rateee..lol


Sham-bollicks

A story of trials and tribulations of growing up in a mordern Ireland. Three lads in there late teens and early twenties are locked up in an irish jail and retell of there paths that have lead them to this point. We have a townie from galway city, a traveller from rosscommon and a yupee from Westport.

Johno McDonough is a 20 year old traveller from Roscommon nd has been locked up for 12 months for getting involved in a bare knuckle fight (which he lost).

Robbo quinn is a 19 year old from a galway city council estate is locked up for 9 months for possession of drugs, and attacking an arresting officer.

Jason McIntyre is a 24 year old from Westport and from a wealthy family, locked up for 12 months for fraud.

Scene one
Act one

As the story starts we have each of the characters enter there cells one by one and hear a prison officer give them there rules and guidelines, as each one of the prisoners enter there cell there allocated bunk is lit in light while the rest of the cell is pitch black.

When all three are in there cells they start to talk to each other and wary of each, they retell there story of how they got put down, as one person asks the other how they got put down, a light on the other end of the stage lights up with the character re-enacting there crime.

After all three have re-enacted there crime the stage goes black and then after a few seconds we see a judge lit up o stage handing down a sentence to each character.

Then the focus is put back to the yupee who starts to say that he has a retrial coming up and will be out again soon.

YUPEE “my dad is going to get me out of here, im not even guilty”

TOWNIE “ the only daddy your going to see in here sunshine is an old hairy bastard in the showers”

TRAVELLER “leave him alone you”
TOWNIE “ you’ll be grand in here, sure all the hairies know travellers only have sex with there cousins”
YUPEE “and townies only have sex with young girls that are off there face”
TOWNIE “ you’ll wish you were off your face when you get aquainted with big billy from the block above”
TRAVELLER “your out in nine months”
TOWNIE “I know, just in time to see your sister have my child”
The three start to laugh loudly and then a screw comes and beats on the cell door, “lights out”

Townie “ don’t worry johno, start up the generator there”
The group laugh again.
Fade to black
Scene 2 act one

We start with a banging on the cell doors and an alrm ringing, the doors slide open with a screw standing in a lit sillhouette “ morning boys, shower time”

YUPEE “im feeling a bit sick, is it ok if I shower later”
TOWNIE “ah ya sure wait till after the morning soaps if ya want, wait the only soaps you’ll see this morning is yours on the floor, ha east-benders or queer-city”
Screw “shut up you, you look like you need a shower more than anyone”
TOWNIE “ah that I do sham, im a dirty bastard, ask your wife”

Screw starts to laugh and jokingly throws a punch at robbo.
TRAVELLER “wheres the shower room”
Screw “come and ill show ya”
TOWNIE “look at the traveller straight in for the hot running water, a big change from washing in rivers and buckets”
YUPEE “it’s a big change from not washing at all for you aint it robbo”
The screw and the other two in the cell start to laugh at robbo.

The three start to laugh as the screw leads them out.
Fade to black

Scene three
Act one
All three are standing with towels wrapped around them,they walk to there own section of the room but as a group of older lads enter and start wolf whistling they quickly gather round themselves again and hold there soap tightly in there hands.
As robbo showers a large older voice starts to speak to him,he dosnt turn to match a face with the voice and as the ordeal goes on only robbo is lit onstage. Robbo speaks no words dring all of this.
The voice from behind starts to shout sexual refrences at him “the silent type” “ill have you singing in a minute” robbo still not saying a word wraps the towel around him again and walks out of the shower room. Johno and Jason are wrapping a towel around themselves when the voice focuses on Jason and says “howya button” Jason replies “buttons are for closing things, and im buttoned up in here till I get out” VOICE “ I can open locked doors so I reckon I could open your buttons,,,button”
JASON “your not my type sugar (laughing and looking at johno)”

Then out of the darkness reaches a hand and grabs Jason by the throat. VOICE “you’re my type” (older group laugh loudly)

Johno grabs the mans hand and tells him fuck off.
Johno and the man stare at each other untill a screw comes in and tells them to get out,the man says to johno, “im watching you” JOHNO “ya me and every other lad in here ya pervert”

As the lads leave the shower room we hear the wolf whistles again

(fade to a light on robbo standing outside)
The light gathers on all three as the two lads join up with robbo.
The three are fixing there towels and about to head back to there cells when the screw comes over to johno and says “not a man to have as an enemy boy,
TOWNIE “he tried to rape me, how long is that pervert in here”
Screw “2 weeks” (the screw laughs loudly to himself as he walks away)
The townie and yupee start laughing and say in unison, weirdo, but the light fades on them and leaves only johno lit up with his head down looking worried.

End of act one.
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gayandafraid
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Sat Mar 06, 2010 5:27 am

really like this lookgn forward to seein how it develops
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1of-dem
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Sat Mar 06, 2010 8:28 am

thank you gayandafraid,
its really cool to be able to get these pieces of work out to you guys to be critiqued..

as you can see it fairly rough,,all in all i wrote this play in about a week.
it was just a project to see if i could try my hand at it..
its not great but thats expected first time out..

ill add act two in a day or two..
as i said i dont want to be hogging the thread lol,.,

anymore work from other members greatly welcomed..

Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Mon Mar 08, 2010 2:23 am

Talent here guys! I might have a few from my younger yrs il see if I can find them. Quiet enjoyed reading these this morning
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Mon Mar 08, 2010 11:04 am

hey guys and gals

here is act two,,,read and review for me if you would be so kind lol..




Sham-bollicks
Act two
Scene one

The scene opens with the lads in there cells robbo singing to himself “ im locked up, they wont let me out”
The traveler mentions that they have three months done and today is visiting day again.
Then Jason exhales his ciggerete and says not long now boys.
TOWNIE “ hey quick draw, did ya take that fag from your pocket already lit, give us one”
YUPEE “here have one, im getting more from my father today
TOWNIE “my brother is coming today ill pay ya back later”
Traveller “how come he hasn’t visited ya yet, or anyone for that matter”
YUPEE “ya actually how come you have no visits”
TOWNIE “because I don’t need them, that’s why, alright. ( turning on his bunk leaving his back to the lads) I don’t need no-one.
A screw comes to the cell and calls them for lunch.
TRAVELER “ I hope that fool don’t start on me again today”
TOWNIE “you’re a traveler, in for fighting, why the fuck are you worried, oh wait you lost that fight,(starts to laugh)
YUPEE “ah in case you havnt noticed hes twice the size of him and way older”
TRAVELLER “ I don’t want to get extra time in here for fighting”
TOWNIE “ if it was me id break his jaw in two”
Traveller “before or after he raped you”
The yupee and the traveller start laughing.
Screw comes back, lunch lads come on,
Screw “oh ya johno, we have one of your lot coming in today”
TOWNIE “its like a fucking halting site in here anyway another one wont make a difference”
TRAVeller “ whats his name”
SCREW “some McDonough lad”
TOWNIE “ooh a cousin, not bad johno, and valentines coming up and all”

They all laugh and the stage fades to black.
Scene two act two
The lads are sitting in the mess hall eating when over comes the man from the showers and slaps johno in the back of the head, the screw turns his head not interested in whats going on.
A big man comes and stands behind johno and grabs the man from the showers by the arm and stares at him, johno doesn’t know whats going on and don’t look back. The man then says “orite cuz” and tells the shower man to fuck off.
The shower man leaves without argument and the townie moves to the side so the new man can sit next to johno,

The light is only focused on the two travellers.
JOHNO “I thought you were sent to Dublin, how long did you get”
TOM “I got 12 months but started a fight with a druggy in the joy, do I got 4 more months”
JOHNO “don’t you get time knocked off for a transfer”
TOM “ ya so im back to what I got sentenced so im out the same time as you”
Johno turns back to his plate and begins eating again looking uncomfortable being near tom.
TOM “look if ya have any bother in here let me know, im used to these places, you’re my cousin after all, I have to look after you (throwing his arms around johno)
JOHNO “is that right”
TOM “ ya it is, (tightning his grip of johno) and don’t worry about the past
TOWNIE “what past, tell us, johno tells us nothing”
JOHNO “ ive nothing to tell ya lads”
TOM “ya you do johno”
JOHNO “nothing to tell ya I said”

Johno gets up and leaves the hall and is quickly followed by Jason and robbo.

Only tom is left sitting in the hall.
Fade to black
Scene three
Scene three act two
Johno and Jason are returning from there visiting session and see robbo lying on his bunk and as they enter he turns his back to them, they both know he’s been crying and look at each other and head for there bunks.
YUPEE (says loud enough for robbo to hear while looking at johno to indicate what he is saying is aimed at Jason) my dad gave me to many fags today and I don’t even need to bottle of shower gel, sure it’s a double pack anyway, do you want one johno”
JOHNO “ naw sure I got some aswell and sure I don’t smoke either, but I got 10 new boxers and 3 mars bars if ya want some”
YUPEE “ ah sure ill have mars bar off ya, what about you robbo will you have a bar”
ROBBO “go on so, couldn’t have you two getting diabetes, I heard its contagious and I don’t fancy it”
YUPEE “ here have some fags aswell, you don’t want me getting cancer now do you”
JOHNO “here have some boxers, sure theres only 7days in a week, I don’t need all ten”
YUPEE “and ya are a dirty little bastard like ya said so ill give ya this spare shower gel”
ROBBO “thanks lads, but (taking a bite of the bar) no sexual favours, doya hear.
The lads start laughing and a screw comes by and says to johno, “your cousin was fighting again, broke someones jaw”
Johno “whos jaw”
Screw “your shower buddy”(laughing and walking away)
TOWNIE “some cousin ya have there”
JOHNO “ya ,fucking great, hes the reason im in hear”
The two lads sit up in bed and say in unison, “is that who ya fought”
JOHNO “ya, and hes my first cousin, he started when he was drunk, then bet the shite out of me, I only arranged for a fair fight because my father would go mad if I didn’t challenge him, I knew id lose like.
TOWNIE “why is he looking after ya in here so”
JOHNO “coz hes my cousin ya mong, it’s a tinker thing.
End of act two
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1of-dem
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Mon Mar 08, 2010 11:15 am

heres something a bit different guys,,i sometimes get flagged for my type of humour, to anti traveller some say,,i dont think so..
anyway here is a comedy piece i wrote a while back, this is something i wrote to highlight the ignorance some travellers have, i know it is a tough and harsh issue,,but sometimes comedy is the best way to delve deeper into an issue..

let me know what you think


The ignorant young-fla

We all have friends that are, well lets just say different. mine was a complete definition of the word different. Simon was a bit soft, a bit emotional and a complete fashion expert. You might think that’s not to different, but when you’re a traveller lad and have advice on the colour clothes that would best suit your skin tone during a fist fight at the horse fairs, or how to gel your hair so that the premature receeding hairline don’t show as prominent during a headlock, then you might think its slightly a bit to the left of the norm.
The girls in the camp loved simon, most of the corsettes were tied up by him before weddings and funerals, while the other men were shoeing the horses, simon would be checking which tail would best suit for a hair extension.
He wore the best clothes in the camp, while we wore fredd perry and nike, he had hugo boss and the likes, he used to be like a foreign exchange student in a school of thugary and chav phsycologie.
In school the teachers loved him and he always had his homework finished and coorect, this act of social suicide was enough to add fuel to the fire that indicated his different qualities. But that fire turned into a furnice when the rumour that he was “a gay” ravished the ears of the unsuspecting camp’ees . The scurry of men and women running to his parents caravan for confirmation and a mere glimpse of the “infected” party, I say infected because when simons father brought him to the doctor to see if he could cure the illness, he mistook the sarcasm of the doctors remark “its an incurable infliction on the ignorant” for as his father retold it “ incurable infection because hes ignorant”.
The scores of people cueing up outside as if it were the elephant man they were about to meet, neighbours even held a vigil hoping for devine intervention and a cure for simon. While the younger crowd in the camp like myself knew what the real story was the older ones had dr phil on speed dial and took time out to tell there kids not to be ignorant or they will be gay by the time there getting married.
For years after simon was never called the gay fella but instead the ignorant young fella, which is not without its irony.
Simon moved out of the camp and then suddenly stories came back of simon being in a relationship with a man, his mother nearly became a nun to join team jesus in the hope he would like women instead, I remember one time when she and simon were argueing, she said to simon “ you know all gays go to hell” and simon replied “if all gays go to hell why would I want to go to heaven” his mother had a seizure after his remark.
Simon still lives with a man but the funniest thing is simon gets refused into gay bars because hes a traveller and gets refused by travellers for being gay.
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Mon Mar 08, 2010 12:12 pm

Great work, I especially like the last piece – ignorance and misinformation within the community is something I feel that rests at the core of our struggle. One of our deepest cultural virtues is that we get strength from a sense of belonging; its great that self exodus and social alienation can be challenged through humour Smile

Threads that might interest you:

Travellers helping gay Travellers:
http://gaypavee.forumotion.net/orange-healing-f5/travellers-helping-gay-travellers-t114.htm

How do ignorant travellers make you feel?
http://gaypavee.forumotion.net/yellow-sunlight-f3/how-do-ignorant-travellers-make-you-feel-t123.htm

Turned away from a night club...
http://gaypavee.forumotion.net/blue-harmony-f2/turned-away-from-a-night-club-t66.htm
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Guiney
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Mon Mar 08, 2010 4:43 pm

My mind isnt settled on the play yet but this is what im thinkin along the lines of actual critqueing (if thats a word) it.

At the start where there caught pulling off the job could have have a bit more of a background? Or a voice talking about how they got there. Might stop the characters looking like sterotypes and colour them in

Not sure if its true to everyones life but should we really be using the word tinker? I dont really know any travellers that say that in a good way and i also know that there was a bit of a fuss about words lately on here but if its a traveler play its going to be seen as acceptable by other people to say tinker to a traveller. Even if it was true at some stage its usually degrotery these days (cant remember how to spell that word haha) not to kill off any authentic feel of it but i hope you think tht part over as id be fierce insulted if someone called me a tinker as is not really one of our words if ya know what I mean.

Personaly id shy away from topics of violence, jail and figthing as many people associate these things strongly with travellers and id be more interested in showing the bigger picture of people being people in the normal way that we are (bitchya a wedding type one would be great or one like your story as thatd show more of the ways in which we are and react)

This is all typed in honesty by the way as I think your work is very good and i know im not explaining myself very well but I did think this over and im genuinly interested in seeing where it goes. Well done!
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Mon Mar 08, 2010 6:00 pm

lol,,i like your honesty guiney,, greatly welcomed..im a writer. so all criticism is welcomed..
as for the stereotyping in the play..your right..its a main part of the play, three characters living up to there stereotypes...

i explained more indepth on the thread you created about insulting words..

thanks for the criticism,.,ill have act three tomorrow...
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Tue Mar 09, 2010 2:53 pm

so here is the third and final act of the play,,its a very short play all in all..
same as before,,give me feedback,,is it case of bovrill,,either like it or hate it lol..



Act three
Scene one
The scene opens with the three lads on there bunks and a case packed and left in the middle of the floor a dim light on the lads but a strong light focusing on the case.
robbo “ todays the day lads, im out, women, drink and my own room”
Johno “ see ya in a month”
Robbo “ why, are ya getting out then”
Johno “no but I reckon you’ll be back inside by then”
The lads start laughing but stop quickly as the screw comes to take robbo out,
The lads stand up and shift nervously waiting to say goodbye.
Robbo “ ill see you on the outside lads”
Johno “ ya sure wel be out soon and well go for a drink”
Jason “ya well meet up in galway sometime, im moving there when I get out, and johno’s family are already there”
Robbo “ya well get pissed then lads” “it will have to be in the park though, sure no travellers get served in galway”
They all start laughing, then shake hands and the light fades.
The two remaining lads sit on there bunks and lie down and start to talk about what there going to do when they get out.
Yupee “im going to get a job in galway and get a place of my own”
Johno “ ya I think ill get my own place to, and park it in your garden”
Yupee “are ya serious”
Johno “no, ya mong, sure ive never lived in a caravan”
Yupee “is it true that all travellers have to marry young, and that there match made, see I wouldn’t mind that, there is no dating process and most traveller women are beautifull”
Johno “ya but would you marry a stranger, getting to know them at your wedding reception, and getting refused hotels, then watching the macho men start a fight to prove who’s the real best man at the wedding”
Yupee “try marrying a women who says I do, then signs a pre nup before she signs her marriage cert and stays a stranger till you die”
Johno “pre nup, she can have my caravan if we divorce”
end of scene one
Scene two act three
The stage is black and slowly lights to an empty cell, the lights go out again and when they relight we see johno stand on the phone speaking to someone,
JOHNO “when we leaving for London”……….
“well whats wrong with galway”……….
“sure that’s not our fight”………….
“who”….. “that’s his problem then” …… “no im sick of it”……
“father or not, if he starts”……… “if he starts”…… “listen to me, if he starts fights let him sort it out, im not going to London because he cant deal with people not talking to him”…….
“go then, im not moving”…….”who” ……… “let him talk all he wants, im not a coward, im not moving like me da now am I”………. “im not going to fight him, what will that prove, ive done a year inside, do ya think im willing to go back”……..”no more fighting, do ya hear”…….. “go on put him on”……..”how ya da”……. “who’s a coward, im not fighting him, I didn’t see”…… “no, I didn’t see you do time” …….. “am I not, well who needs a father like you” …… “ya ya fuck you to”…….
Fade to black
Lights up showing Jason arguing with his dad on the phone.
Jason “look im moving to galway, simple as dad”……….
“ill get a job, that’s how”…….. “I don’t need your money, or your house”…… “oh youd love that”……. well at least inside I didn’t have to listen to you”……. “oh ashamed are ya, why, because your bridge mates asked about me”……. “get over yourself its not always about you”…….. “I wont call you, what would I call you for”……..“ya goodbye”…….

Light fades and relights to show robbo drinking out of a bottle, he picks up his phone and rings johno, he asks him when there having there drink, johno replies, next week. Johno rings Jason and asks him is he up for a drink and Jason replies no, and says that he has left all that behind him and is trying to forget about prison.

Fade to black..
End of scene two….

Scene three act three

The scene begins with robbo and johno on a bench drinking out of bottles, a man giving out free galway newspapers, johno takes one and leaves it next to him.
Johno “ so what ya been up to since you got out”
Robbo “oh this and that, got kicked out of the house, got a girl pregnant”
Johno “pregnant, you going to do the decent thing then”
Robbo “yup, im going to denie its mine”
Johno “ya bad bastard”
They both start laughing.
Robbo “so have you heard from Jason lately, I rang him but he blanked me”
Johno “I asked him to meet with us today but he said no”
Robbo “all them yupees are the same man”
Johno “ah no he was sound enough when we were inside, he was pure sound to you robbo”
Robbo “he was only sound because he was in a room with a knaker and a tinker, the likes of him only end up in our company when there representing us in court”
Johno “ah no he was different”
Robbo “ya he was a white collar knacker, that’s the difference”

Johno opens up the paper and says come on well look for a job.
When he opens the paper he notices a name on the page, Jason McIntyre, he reads it out, something on a car crash in galway over the weekend, the lads are in shock and johno says lord rest his soul and robbo just says you know what he wasn’t that bad, he gave me fags.
Fade to black
Re-light to empty bunks in a cell……
Then a voice calls out…”lights out”….lights fade to black

end



another play coming soon innvolving a gay traveller character..its a lurve story lol..
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Tue Mar 09, 2010 2:57 pm

I luve boveril! LOL

Looks great Id say it would be great with some strong actors
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Tue Mar 09, 2010 3:02 pm

lol,,i hate the stuff,,red rotten.,,
thanks, i think its a simple play but deals with some good issues,,some people will prob say i took the piss out of travellers,,or townies, or rich kids,,but thats the point.,

hey when am i gonna see some more of your stuff,,you know that stuff that "dont ryme" lol..

get more on here lol,,i like it.. Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Wed Mar 10, 2010 8:27 am

I like this! With the gay traveler one wouldnt it be good if some of our own members were in it
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Wed Mar 10, 2010 3:12 pm

hi 1 of dem

i havent read your play yet

but

your poem "jim and bernie" is superb, in fact, it left me choked up

i strongly suggest u send it to jake bowers at travellers times magazine m8

let us know how u get on
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Thu Mar 11, 2010 6:28 am

hey london,

thanks a mill,eh i havnt heard of traveller times.
where is it based/?
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1of-dem
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Tue Mar 16, 2010 2:13 pm

hey all,,this is a purely fictional poem/song i wrote..
its basicaly about travellers in love and one losing the other and wanting to die to be with him.

have a look anyway

thanks...


p.s,,,meeting was great on saturday,,pity not all turned up for it,,but there is al;ways the next one..



Do you still know my name

In the story of life
Not all have nice ways to end
It’s a whole lot worse
When you live life like my friend.
He thought loving me was wrong
Afraid to admit that he in fact loved me
It wasn’t out of hate, but fear he denied it
And I cried painfully as I set him free.
I wonder what he’s doing now
Does he still pull that face
The one that made me laugh
But now that face makes me cry.
Oh what a shame

**********:chorus:***********

Why is life so cruel
To men like me
Its just the emotions
Of a man in love you see
If people say were doing wrong
Its more wrong that people say
Love is not a game
My love for him the same
God decided to steal him from me
Oh what a crying shame
Did he really have feelings for me
And did he still know my name
*******************************

If I saw him now
id hold him so close and tight
And hope he didn’t leave at night
My heart would tell me what to do,
I miss him more than happiness
Real sadness about you
is me not having you.
Lost Love is love lost
Oh what a shame
This is the face of pain
Pain has got a name
Oh what a shame

**********:chorus:***********


As the years went by me painfully
I find a mass card in my porch
I opened it up slowly and
My eyes well up and full of pain
and tears fall free along my cheek
The most loving friend I’ve had
Has been taken from me again.

**********:chorus:***********

You remembered my name
And have proved you’re a true friend
We couldn’t be with each other
So we will meet at the very end
Please wait for me
I wont be long
This time im coming with you
Together we belong.
Did you really think that life,
would be easier,
If you found a wife.
You have denied yourself
A great and wonderful life
You then left me alone
While you set up a home
You were trapped in a false marriage
oh what a shame

**********:chorus:***********

But when all was done
You didn’t felt right
Were you driving to me
on that frosty night
Drink gave you courage to come find me
But love has a heavy cost
But you wanted what you missed
And while searching for me you were lost.
.
Did I mean that much
You died and im to blame
This time Im coming with you
For I loved you without shame
And you must have felt the same
You must have thought about me
Oh what a shame
What a shame
And after years of me hoping
You still knew my name


he still knew my name..

**********:chorus:***********
God has stole him from me
Oh what a crying shame
He Did have feelings for me
He remembered my name

*******************************
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A Wandering Minstrel
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Wed Mar 17, 2010 2:36 pm

Hi 1of-dem,

It was a pleasure to meet you and warrdy last Saturday, and to catch up with Hanu Fein and Pavee Prince again. Good to see new faces coming along to a meeting.

Your writing is great. I'm impressed with the tenderness in your work. You really do have a massive soft streak and a handsome, rugged exterior! I like the play, especially the drama of the start with the lads arriving in their cells, re-enacting their 'crimes' and the sentencing from the judge.

It's interesting to see debate here about the use of the word 'tinker'. I met an older Traveller who was quite comfortable with the word and happy to call herself a 'tinkers'. Her father had been a tin smith and that seemed to inform her comfort with the word. I never came across a younger Traveller who was ok with the word.

I think the play is really good. I like the way you play around with stereotypes, doing so can turn them on their heads. It is really important that Travellers voices are heard in public spaces, including theatres. You're in great company with other writers from the Traveller Community, such as Rosaleen McDonagh and Michael Collins.
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Thu Mar 18, 2010 5:39 pm

this is something im working on,,give it a read guys..

heres a description and the first chapter/scene

Tail-feathers
Written by
***M****W****

Brief outline
This is a story of the very underground gay scene of Ireland and the life of two best friends growing up gay and confused.
KYLE TAIL is a gay lad born into a catholic family in county cork while WILLIAM FEATHERS is born to a wealthy and equally conservative protestant family also from county cork.

Kyle comes from a large family in the city, he is the youngest out of 6 kids, there family are republicans and political.
William is the only child in his family, his parents are both doctors

William has been kicked out of every private school he has attended and is quite openly gay and this gets him in bother with teachers. After the last school kicks him out his parents are blacklisted on the bording schools in the country so public school is the only option.there he meets kyle.

Kyle is a poor kid with big dreams, wants a house of his own and a degree behind him, struggles with his dyslexia though but that doesn’t stop him. he lives a quiet life unlike his brothers who have a fearsome reputation in his school, his older brother is repeating his leaving cert for the third time and is in the same class as kyle.
Determined to get ahead in life he studies hard, untill a new boy at school comes and then the fun begins.

This is a 10 part series based in Ireland and the uk, a story of prejudice and an unlikely friendship between two friends from religious backrounds. It tackles issues of homophobia and religious bigotry. Its also a story of love, friendship, loss and the wrong decisions in life. With moments of hilarity and wit to moments of frustration and mouring. Tail-feathers is the story of a shared journey to a world of acceptance and self exploration.



Tail feathers
Written by
***M***W***


Episode one
The story starts with kyle getting ready for school, fighting to get to the sink in the bathroom, and then fighting for a cup of tea, as he goes to pour his tea he notices his brother stealing his toast and shouts for his mum who is still in bed, returning to pour the tea he notices its empty. He looks at his watch and notices he’s slept in, grabs his books from under his brothers coveted toast.
Running out to the street in a down pour of rain he puts his books over his head.

Cut to William getting ready in a fancy bathroom putting on creams and gel, coming down the stairs to a breakfast on the table and his mum and dad sitting at the table reading the papers.he looks out the window to the rain and frowns and holds his head up with his hand, complaining about his food and calories he just pushes his food away. Getting up and grabbing his bag he heads to the door and stops dead pan when his dad calls after him, try not to get thrown out this time son, and don’t mix with the undesirable like we talked about, William just walks on and slams the door and runs to an already running bmw.

Driving past the entrance to his new school William notices a boy getting pushed by older lads and sees his books getting knocked into a puddle, its kyle.

CUT TO PRINCIPALS OFFICE
William is there with his mum and is being greeted by the principal who is also a priest. the principal is chatting to the pair when in walks kyle without knocking. Sorry father he says and walks to go out again, William notices kyle and looks him up and down, kyle notices the strange hairstyle on William.kyle steps outside and the priest looks at his company and asks for a moment to speak to kyle.
Outside the priest asks what was the reason for the rude intrusion and starts to shout at him, kyle begins to cry and explains that his books got wet outside and his teacher kicked him out of class for it and sent him here.still shouting at kyle William asks his mother to take him out of this hell hole, as he does in comes the priest slightly reddened from his exhausting interaction with kyle.
He slips his hair back and wipes his forehead and smiles at the pair from under his window pane glasses. So where were we, and kyle quickly remarks “you were re-inacting a scene from the crucifixion”.

Kyle is sitting on a bench in the coriddor when William and his mum come out, with the priest in toe. ah yes mrs feathers your son will do fine here don’t you worry, as he puts his hand behind her back to guide her out.

Kyle is sitting but tries not to look at William but peers up to see him standing next to him, well says kyle, well yourself says William. William puts out his hand and kyle shake its, they exchange names and kyle dries the tears in his eyes for fear of a slagging from the new kid, but William notices and passes a purple hanky to him, keep it he says. As he dries his eyes the priest returns and comes to William, come on lets get ya settled in boy. Ok then daddy William replies, its father not daddy the priest says, whatever you prefer he says as he winks to kyle and walks towards the area the priest is pointing to.

Halfway down the hall the priest calls kyle to follow, your not waiting there all day, he says. William looks back and sees kyle running in slow motion and notices his cuteness and meekness.

The priest opens the door of a classroom and a greeting worded out in irish is heard, kyle mumbles to himself “what the fuck”.
The two walk in and sit at the same two seat table. Kyle opens up a wet book with the pages sticking together, the teacher looks at him and says aloud “and what the fuck do expect to read from that tail” and comes and lifts up the book and then says aloud “why have you not got a bag then?” kyle replies “my brother is using it for his lunch sir, on the building site sir” is he now the teacher replies, well I suppose he can give it back when you finish school and ya can use it yourself for the sites, at this William opens his book and says aloud, he can read my book with me, and sure someday when I finish school he will let me share his lunch bag, the class erupts in laughter and the teacher reddens and returns to the blackboard, the fact William comes from a powerful wealthy family that could potentially become investors makes the teacher concede the discussion, kyle looks at William and says thanks, William whispers in his ear, no prob hun, kyles eyes open wide with shock, this is his first gay experience.

CUT TO BIKE SHED AT BREAK TIME

William is chatting to some lads, a conversation about being a prod comes up, William is argueing with kyles brother, William gets a punch for his argument, kyle in the mean time is in the toilets waiting for a cubicle, in rushes William holding his nose shouting and cursing, he is bleeding. He washes his nose in the sink, kyle hands him his hanky back and asks is he ok, William still cursing under his breath looks up at kyle and smiles then says “I bet I look a right state” no, you look fine kyle replies, “really” says William, and winks then the pain returns and he is holding the hanky up to his nose, he starts to explain what happened when in walks kyles brother and pushes William again, kyle stands in front of him and pushes his brother back, ill tell dad you were fighting, the look on Williams face shows that he has now realised that the two are brothers. William pushes past to leave and gets pushed again and drops his purple hanky, the lads start to call him queer and he just runs past them, the lads follow him out into the hall leaving kyle there to stare at the hanky full of blood.
The lads are following William down the hall calling him names when out comes the priest and shouts at the lads to go away and asks loudly what happened, William just stands there saying he fell outside, the lads walk away from William and there in front of them is kyle, the brother is shouting at him but kyle aint listening, he watches in slow motion at William, at that point William turns back and sees kyle, he looks at him and then at his bloody hand and just turns away in protest.kyle comes round from his daze and sees his bro right up to his face saying in a low angry voice, your dead when you get home, do ya hear me, pushes him and calls him a handicap, kyle lands against the wall and huddles with back pain, sliding down the wall watching his brother and mates walk away, he looks back to see William walking down the hall with the priest, he takes out the bloody hanky, squeezes it tight in his hand and puts it back in his pocket.

CUT TO THE PRINCIPLES OFFICE DOORS AT END OF DAY
Kyle is walking to the office to speak to the principal about getting thrown out and braces himself for a telling off, as he approaches he sees William coming out and heavily pushing his back against the outside wall, his mother is still inside speaking to the priest.kyle comes over to say hi and asks how he is, William ignores him and kicks imaginary dust on the floor keeping his eyes fixed on the ground.kyle comes over and apologises for his brother, William burst out and says, I fucking stood up for you, I fucking let you read my book, and its your brother that fucks my nose up, I look like the fucking elephant man, kyle replies “you don’t, you look alright to me” “ is it sore” William replies, of course its fucking sore and laughs, gay bashing and bible bashing all in one day, they both laugh, William looks at kyle again and asks “do I really look alright” before he gets to answer the mother comes out with the priest and she grabs William and heads away, the priest calls in kyle but kyle turns and goes back outside the door and shouts after William and says “William” William turns around and looks at kyle, kyle smiles and says “yes” and turns to go back inside, William turns to walk out with his mother and smiles to himself.

CUT TO KYLE WALKING IN THE DOOR AT HOME
Im back kyle shouts out, his mother calls him into the kitchen, she is drinking vodka from a glass, she screams at him “where were you till now, ive been ringing your phone” he looks for his phone and pulls it out from his pocket, with it he unknowingly takes out the stained hanky and holds the phone up, he realises he has the hanky in his hand, he tries to put it back in his pocket, the mother asks what it is, he says its nothing and goes to walk up to his room, but is blocked by his angry brother.whats up ma, kyle has a cloth with blood on it, come here kyle, kyle tries to push past his brother but gets knocked back.he turns to his mum and asks her to drop it, she asks again to see what he has.
He takes out the hanky and gives it to her, after inspecting it, looking past the rising smoke from her lit cig in her mouth she notices its purple.she lets out a scream, fucks sake kyle, what have ya done, she jumps up screaming “quick upstairs and change your clothes, who is she kyle, what have ya done ya mong ya, quick before the shades come, I knew this would happen, no girlfriend ever, knew this would fucking happen” his brother notices it and starts to laugh, kyle trying to explain in between his mothers rapid rant.he lets a scream out it doesn’t belong to a girl, his brother laughs harder at this and is in skits, his mother starts to yell again “jesus christ don’t tell me it was a fucking lad ya did, god forgive ya kyle, jesus christ, upstairs and get out of your clothes and burn them” ( a knock on the door) kyle tries to explain again, his mother looks at the door “quick out the back kyle” she picks up the bottle of vodka and take a large swallow and takes in a deep breath, and says to herself “ I blame the fucking priests” and walks to open the door, she has a drunken stumble and sees kyle still standing there “get out quick she says” he moves to the side letting her think he left, he notices his brother looking at him punching his palm in a threatening way, he says if ya say a word boy,
The mother opens the door and sees a neighbour standing there.the neighbour asks “have ya got a bit of milk Lynda” the mother just looks at the neighbour blankly and says in a loud voice “no, now fuck off” she slams the door and comes back inside to see kyle standing, before she can speak he starts to explain that he hasn’t done anything, the hanky belongs to a lad in school who got his nose bust open and he picked it up and didn’t have a chance to give it back.the mother gives him a slap and says, “what if he dies from a blood clot to the brain and your left with his blood on ya, I saw it once in csi miami” the brother erupts laughing again and goes upstairs.
Kyle walks past his mother and goes up stairs after his brother. His mother sits at the table on her own, flicks the remote and picks up the bottle and swigs from it, musice is played on the tv, she looks at it in a slight shock, and says, “great, fucking murder she wrote”


CUT TO WILLIAM WALKING IN THE FRONT DOOR
William walks in and throws his bag to the floor and runs upstairs to the bathroom. his mother walks in and sits next to the father in the sitting room, she frowns as she sits down and looks at her husband. Whats up he says, I think William was attacked in school, his nose is messed up a bit, the father jumps up and calls William, the mother stands up and says in a low (calm down please) type voice, he says it was a fall and doesn’t want a big deal over it, the father walks to the bottom of the stairs and calls him again. William shouts down “im in the bathroom, what do you want like” I want to speak to you now, get down here this instance his father yells. His mother is still sitting in the room with a look of despair, William walks out onto the top of the landing and stands at the top of the stairs looking down, come down here son his dad says.
William walks down slowly and says “it was my fault dad, I fell”
don’t give me that he replies, now what happened, “I told you” William says back, I fell.why did you tell him for he shouts into his mum, “don’t speak like that to your mother” sorry he says sarcastically.
He walks past his father to head into the sitting room, he stands in front of his mum and apologises again, “I really did fall though” he says, his mum replies “ok son, I believe you, were just worried about you, that’s all,and who was the boy outside the principals office” just a friend mum, met him today, were in the same classes, he is ok though, a bit common but it is public school after all. Well as long as you know that when your older you will probably be either treating them for injuries from fights they get in or representing them in a court, don’t get to friendly with future clients son. I wont da he replies, his father clicks his fingers waiting for William to correct his mistake, “sorry I mean I wont DAD” that’s right son he replies “we don’t abbreviate in this house my boy”. as he walks out the door he turns to his parents and says “ oh ya my English and maths books were stolen today, can I get money for more please” his father sighs and says well I suppose ill be saving on the bills id get if you were going to boarding school, this time write your name on them son, half of the students probably cannot write there name so you will notice yours if it gets stolen, it would be the only one with there name consisting of more than an x” he laughs at his own joke and passes William money and winks for recognition of his well constructed and factual joke” William pauses and give a dry laugh and turns away to go upstairs as he does he still hears his dad laughing and turns his eyes towards the ceiling and goes to his room.

CUT TO KYLE WALKING INTO HIS ROOM TO HIS BRO
“Here handicap, what ya doing with the queers fucking rag, theres blood on it, I don’t want his aids at all, get it out of this house,”his brother says, he tries to grab it out of his hand, in walks one his other brothers equally horrible to his brother, “whats going on maggot” “ah kyle has a purple rag he got in school, belongs to a queer, a prod as well, a fuckin English prod at that pete” maggot replies, “you bust his nose in school maggot, I picked it up and was going to give it back buit I forgot” the two brothers start laughing, kyle gets annoyed and shouts back “its easy to beat the students up, aint it maggot” maggot flexes his muscles and say “ya it is nancy” pete and maggot start laughing, kyle looks at both and hesitates before his next insult then he says “ya its easy when the same age as some of the teachers, its leaving cert maggot, why the fuck have ya not left then”
The two brothers start to punch kyle and kick him, but as he is being attacked in walks the eldest brother mark, holding a bag with kyles name on it, he drops the bag and pulls pete off kyle and slaps him and tells him to fuck off, he then grabs maggot by the neck and pins him down and starts to smack him a few time, maggot is screaming for pete (his twin) to help him, pete hesitates and thinks about it but one look from the tougher brother mark is enough to send him running. Mark drags maggot up to his feet and tells him that if he hits kyle again he will be sorry, maggot hold his reddened cheek and snarls at kyl who is lay on the ground with his back to the bed. maggot leaves the room and mark picks kyle up from the floor. Kyle wipes his eyes and says “thanks mark” mark looks at him and sighs and says “you will have toughen up boy, they wont leave you alone till ya fight back,I wont always be here, what was it over anyway” kyle takes out the hanky and starts to explain.


CUT TO WILLIAM LAY ON HIS BED WITH A BOOK

William is lay on his bed with the bedside light switched on and holding his english book in his hand with a pen, he has a slow song playing in the backround. He starts to think to himself….

CUT TO KYLE LAY ON HIS BOTTOM BUNK BED
Kyle is lay on his bed thinking to himself and listening to a song on his mp3 player, he leans over the side and fumbles with his pockets, searching in darkness, he takes out his phone, and opens a text message to get light from his phone…

CUT BACK TO WILLAIM
William takes the pen and writes kyles name onto the cover and lays back to the head board and examines the name, and smiles to himself

SPLIT TO KYLE
Kyle takes out the hanky from his pocket and holds it in his hand and looks at it lit up with the backlight of the phone, he types in Williams name and stares at the name he typed, and holds the hanky tight.

Fade out both characters with the music playing, William switching off the lamp, and total darkness music plays on, then the sound of the earplugs being pulled out and music stops and the brother on the top bunk yelling “turn off the fucking phone, handicap” silence….
End
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LondonTraveller
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Thu Mar 18, 2010 7:17 pm

u can send yer writes to jake at travellers times. do a google search for travellers times i know its got an address of org in it somewhere there.

If they published yer work, anonmistly if u want. it wud shake up us other trvallers i reckon

keep on writin and we will keep on reading

that goes for all of ye
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Thu Mar 18, 2010 7:27 pm

1 of dem

do you still know my name your poem

fuckin awesome, i never read poetry b4 now

that is really good
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Thu Mar 18, 2010 7:35 pm

hey london,
thanks a mill. its great when people like what ya write.
some of my stuff holds alot of emotion in it and some people dont like, or dont get it.

about the traveller times thing. i think its a great idea, maybe if i sent it annonymosly it might be better..

i have other work that i want to put out there in the future, when i have come out officially ya know.
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Sun Mar 21, 2010 2:01 pm

1of dem ur last thing was great! Kep up the GREaT WORK!
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Sun Mar 21, 2010 4:08 pm

aww thanks guiney,,actually that last thing i posted is something i am developing into a series.
i have already received some interest from 2 producers about it. but i wana make it perfect ya know..

thanks for the review..
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PostSubject: Re: Personal poetry: Post and review   Fri Mar 26, 2010 1:31 am

so here it is,,next installment of tail-feathers guys,,hope your liking how its developing.,.,im only going to show a total of 3 episodes/chapters of this work as i am still workinjg out the kinks in the story , regarding the finished piece, also it would be foolish of me to totaly exhibit all my work before i get paid for it lol..lets hops some day that will actually happen.,.
anyway's,,enjoy,,



Tail-feathers
Written by
*********M*******w*****
Episode 2
Scene opens with kyle waking up wiping the crust from his eyes and coughing, the sound of his brother farting on the top bunk sends him running out to the bathroom in his boxers. holding his hand over his mouth. He takes a piss and is looking at his face in the mirror in front of him, starts to stretch his skin as if to eradicate his imaginary wrinkles. while holding two hands to his face his piss shoots off in a different direction to where he was expecting, (after sex pee) he franticly takes control again and starts to curse.
On coming downstairs fully clothed he notices his bag left by the door, he takes up the bag and its been cleaned and left empty with a note left in it “thanks bro, don’t need it now” he smiles happily and brings it to the kitchen to put his books in it, he picks up the books he left on the radiator the night before, and opens them up only to find that they are stuck together and stained.
He runs upstairs and asks his mother for money, his mum is sprawled across the bed with stains on her clothes she is still wearing from the night before “can I have money for books ma” she just peers through one of her crusty eyes and says “fuck of will ya, ive nothing for myself”
He just swears and heads off downstairs again. He goes to the tea pot and like every other day the tea is gone and as he goes for toast he notices theres no bread left. He mumbles to himself “cant take this anymore” and storms out of the house in dramatic fashion, he slams the door behind him, but once out he realises that he left his bag behind he starts to shout in the letter box “open the fucking door, I left my bag behind” he wait’s a few seconds and the door opens and a bag is thrown at him and the door is closed again, as he turns around the door is opened and a kick is thrown at his arse.


CUT TO WILLIAM GETTING OUT OF HIS CAR AT SCHOOL
William is smoking a cig outside his school, when he notices kyle walking towards him, “heya” William says, “heya” replies kyle.
William passes the cig to kyle and kyle just says “ I don’t smoke” William hold the cig out and says “go on, you need to get a fag in your mouth at least once kyle” he winks as he says this, the pair start to laugh, William then says “the best place to hold a fag is by holding the butt nice and tight” he has a permiscuious look when he says this. William notices the bag and says “I see ya got your bag back” kyle pushes the bag back from his line of vision and says “ya, but my books are fucked” William smiles and puts his hand in his bag and takes out two books and passes them to kyle “whats this” kyle says “my brothers old books, you can have them, there not being used like” kyle is stunned and holds the books in his hand and hesitates as says thanks. William takes out his phone and says confidently, “give me your number then” kyle quickly throws the new books in his bag and takes out his phone to take the number down, as he does his brother is walking past them a few yards away he looks and shouts “faggots, get his number kyle” that group start to laugh but keep walking. William notices kyle blushing and then says to him “are ya” what says kyle “are ya gay” eh no kyle replies, don’t listen to them lads, “I am ya know ” William says, “oh ya I know ya are, its just like, im not ya know” William laughs at him and goes to put his hand on his shoulder but kyle steps back out of reach, “it would be nice if ya were, so have ya got a girlfriend then” no replies kyle, William just laughs and starts to walk to the school, kyle stares at him as he walks off “hang on” he catches up to William , William turns around and says “what ya do on the weekend, what pubs are good, do ya fancy going out on the weekend, you might meet a girl” “weekend says kyle, I don’t drink, I don’t go out, ive no money” let me worry about that William says, and theres always a first ya know.
Kyle looks at him wondering how to take what he said, then mockingly punches his arm and laughs, the two are laughing all the way inside.
CUT TO FOOTBALL PITCH
The two lads are standing at the edge of the pitch looking on, William lights up a cig and sits on the grass, kyle looks at him in shock but starts to laugh, “so kyle, who out there is who” where says kyle “on the pitch” oh, well that’s micky long over there with the ball now, he’s the popular one, a cunt though, kyle says, “micky long, is that a name or a title, I just love a buldge in pe, don’t you” and over there is darren holian, he is the one who has a famous uncle in London, a designer I think, “ a designer, really, he should take tips, he has odd socks on” the two laugh. The ball comes over and they both look at each other “don’t look at me kyle, the only gaelic I do is in the bedroom” kyle kicks the ball and it swerves in a different direction to where he has aimed.he sits back down and William is peering at him from over his sunglasses and inhales his cig and says to kyle “straight ya?” kyle just sits next to him and says, im not athletic alright, don’t mean a thing” William just smiles and looks forward again, “whos that over there, orange top” where, oh that’s brian kelly, he is the kick boxer, sound enough, my brothers mate though kyle says, William stares over “really, hes not bad” kyle replies “smells of sweat all the time and he smells of onions after break, he has onions with everything, they call him onions! William looks for a second then turns to kyle, “onions eh, I wouldn’t mind peeling off a layer or two I can tell ya”.

CUT TO OUTSIDE SHOWER ROOM
The two lads are standing outside the room, William is peering in, “look at that, there straight ya, but there all touchy feely and smacking each other with towels, oh theres onions kyle” ya says kyle, acting uniterested, “ya hes taking his clothes off, oh my god kyle, I can see why they call him onions, all onions and no carrot” kyle starts to laugh, William walks away from the window and takes out his phone, starts to text someone, as he turns around he notices kyle looking in the window at the lads. William looks at him and smiles, and says come on lets get out of here.they pick up there bags and head out, William stops at the window again and opens thye door and takes out his phone, he shouts to the naked lads inside, say hi to everyone on bebo and holds up the phone, the frantic rush to towels and cover commences.
The two lads laugh there way out of the gym.

CUT TO THE LADS SITTING IN A CAFÉ

“can I have two mochas pleasse” William says to the waitress, then he looks at kyle and asks, “so what clubs are good around here” I don’t know kyle exclaims. The waitress comes back and William asks her in a camp voice “where is good to out on a weekend around here” the waitress replies, well I hear dogma is good on a Friday and flush is ok till the lads get pissed, “what about a place that’s classy and good music, any gay bars” kyle burns up with embarresment and looks away, the waitress looks at him and laughs, none of them in this town honey, pity to as I went to one in Dublin, fantastic, or is it fabliss”and winks at William,
But the classiest place around here would be dogma, a lot of homo sexuals go there.
William looks at her and smiles “thanks pet” she goes away and William looks at kyle and asks why is he so embarrassed kyle replies “im straight and your saying stuff like that” William starts laughing.the two start to taste there drink, William asks, so what does your parents do, kyle looks at him then looks away then says nothing really, I don’t live with my dad, theres just me, mum and my brothers, William asks how many brothers do ya have “six “ he replies. William laughs and says, do yee have a fucking telly.
What about you, any brothers or sisters, William says back “my mum and dad are doctors, I used to have a sister, but she died of leukaemia years ago, its alright because I get great prescriptions” sorry to hear about your sister William looks away and changes the topic, “so are we all systems go for Friday” kyle replies, well I don’t know, your not going to dress up camp are ya, William laughs but kyle doesn’t William stops laughing and says “wait are you fucking serious, oh my god kyle, you cant talk, we have to look at your wardrobe and burn whats in it” they laugh and finish drinking there mochas.

CUT TO MUSIC STORE
The two lads are lookin at cd’s in a shop, William is asking what kind of music he likes, kyle replies “eh anything” William laughs, kylie, “actually kyle from now on im going to call you kylie”


CUT TO CLOTHES SHOP
how about this one, William is holding up a top, and kyle looks at it and says, it a bit small for you though, “oh my god, gok wan, its meant to exsensuate the weight I don’t have, its meant to be tight”
Kyle looks at it, “60 quid for a glorified piece of cling film”
Ok then William says, you pick something that would suit me, kyle says ok, he goes and picks out some clothes and comes back to him, here, try these. the clothes actually do look good on William,
“not bad, not bad at all my young jedI”
They both look in the mirror at each other, kyle is wearing something William picked, they both leave the clothes back and walk out, William pulls a pair of socks out of his pocket and shows them to kyle, kyle looks in shock and looks at William and asks “you didn’t, did ya” William just smiles and runs ahead.

CUT TO PICTURE MACHINE
the two lads are standing in the mall and William says, come on over here, he gets inside the booth and calls kyle in, come on will ya he says again, kyle gets in to stop him making a scene, they have there pix taken, William passes two to kyle and says now, that’s your before mug shot, wait till you see the after pic,


CUT TO BOTH STANDING UNDER MALL CLOCK

The two lads are standing under a large clock by the entrance, time to go kyle, ill miss my bus, what time is the bus, 4.15, its four now, kyle asks William if his parents will know he was mitching, William replies, ya I will tell them, they don’t care that much at this stage, ill just say I had a panic attack, works for loads of things. Kyle just looks at him and laughs, “your mental, you know that don’t ya”

CUT TO BUS STOP
Heres the bus kyle says, William looks at him, so text me later ya, kyle nods and says ya no problem, and make sure you go Friday, im away to Dublin tomorrow so I wont be in school, so ill see ya Friday, ill call ya and ya can come over to mine, my parents are away for the weekend, free gaff. They both cheer, so ill see ya then ya. Kyle looks at him and says ya, deffo man..

William gets on the bus and kyle steps back, William waves out the window and kyle goes red faced because of this, kyle walks on and gets a text from William, ”Friday, don’t let me down, xox”
Kyle looks at the message and quickly deletes it and says to himself, “if anyone ever read that”

CUT TO KYLE AT HOME EATING DINNER
Did ya get your books son, his mum asks as he sits down at the table, ya I got them off a student who had spare ones, which student, his brother is looking at kyle as he hesitates, his brother answers his mum for him, while still looking at kyle he says, the prod, isn’t him, is it. Ya, so what maggot, kyle replies, his mum looks at his new books she has taken from the bag and inspects them, she then says are you sure he gave them and you didn’t steal them, yes replies kyle, his mother says, “well if there 2nd hand how come the stamp inside shows this weeks date, yesterday to be exact,. It suddenly dawns on him that the books were his new ones and that he bought newer ones, , his mother looks at him and says, well I couldn’t give a fuck whether he was a prod or a jehovas witness, he was good natured enough to you, why don’t ya invite him over for dinner on the weekend, say Saturday, she asks, kyle looks at his brother and then back to his mum, and says “eh, are ya sure, like ill ask him, but he lives a good bit away” his brother looks at kyle and says aloud “theres no way that prody queer is coming in here” his mother slaps him on the head and reminds him who owns the house, she then turns to kyle and says, you bring your friend over here son, don’t mind this evil fucker, I don’t care if he like girls or boys or animals for that matter, well maybe animals, sure there defenceless Kyle laughs and says ok mum, he finishes off his dinner and goes upstairs and goes to his wardrobe and starts taking out his clothes, he goes to the next room and looks in his(nice) brothers wardrobe and picks up a shirt,sizes it up and says to himself, this will do.
His mum comes up the stairs with a cig in her hand and comes into his room, she looks around and sees a load of naked women on posters, and then to a stereo on a table, she goes to the table to look at it. “is that mine that was robbed a few weeks ago” he replies “eh, ya I think its yours, I didn’t bring it up here though” she looks at him and says “ I know son, I know full well,to be fair I knew maggot stole it, just like his father that lad” she then points to a poster “any of them yours” he goes red and says “eh no, there the lads posters” she puts her hand on his cheek and says softly “ I know son, I am your mother after all, il always love you no matter what”
He gets a bit embarrassed by this and starts to fidget at his phone, she looks on at his shyness and says “you were the only quiet one I had, the smartest and best natured, id love to meet your friend”
Its not like that mum he says, she just laughs and says, nothing ever is, but you will sort it out, she goes to walk away and he calls after her, can ya lend me some money for Friday im going out” about time she replies, ill see what I can do for ya son, she goes to walk away and he calls after her again, she turns around and he smiles at her and says thanks mum. She smiles at him and she goes downstairs, he opens up a text message in his phone, and types in hey, and sends it to William, he sits back on the bed and he listens to his mum singing a rebel song, he starts to dream of William,,,he gets a text back from William, “hey hun how are ya, iv got a surprise for you on Friday xox“, kyle smiles as he reads it, he replies “im not up to much, thanks for the books, I know you gave me yours, I appreciate it,(he hesitates as he types in xox) mate xox.” he sends the message really quick as if he was uncertain if he should have, he throws the phone to the end of the bed. he waits biting his nails, this is the gayest he has ever been and the first time he sent kisses to a lad, it feels alien to him, he gets a reply back “your welcome, see ya Friday, I got to go now” he examines the text, no kisses he says to himself “that cunt, didn’t even notice the kisses”
CUT TO WILLIAM SITTING ON A HOSPITAL BED
Right then William the doctor says “just pop up your top for me”
William looks bored as the doc listens, ok that’s fine William, now have you any complaints for me, he replies “ well I get headaches a lot and tire quickly, my joints are sore also. The doctor looks at the chart, well I suggest you don’t over excert yourself, and saty away from alchohol and drugs, he looks over his glasses after this remark to gauge a response. “I will try doctor” and laughs.
The doctor is out talking to his parents as William lays back on the bed, he hears the doctor saying “his white blood count is up, and as he is in his 2nd year of remission it’s a worry, ive taken more blood samples and as soon as I know more il be in touch, now if you can excuse me I must be off” the parents in unison say thank you and look in the room at there son, they have a look of despair and pity, William turns to his side and puts on his head phones, and wells up in tears.

CUT TO MAGGOT AND MATES OUTSIDE OFF LICENCE
The lads are all messing and joking, one of the lads spots kyle coming down the street heading home, he says to maggot, “are you sure he isn’t queer maggot?, I mean he never goes for birds and he is hanging around with that faggot in school” maggot looks at his brother going in home and then turns his attention to his mate “don’t you ever talk about my family like that, d’ya hear me, hes fucking straight” his mate looks blankly at him and says “well that’s not what people are saying maggot” maggot punches his mate and says “I don’t give a fuck right, hes not queer” his mate gets up and sees blood, he pucnhes maggot back, they get into a fight.

CUT TO KYLES ROOM
Kyle is lay on his bed when in bursts his brother and comes for him,”what have I done now maggot” maggot grabs him by the throat and snarls and says “tell me now, tell me now your not a faggot, tell me kyle” im not replies kyle, maggot slaps him and says “fucking better not be, your coming out tomorrow with me, ill get ya a fucking bird” kyle looks at him and says, “I cant tomorrow, tommorows Friday, I have somewhere to be” maggot looks at him and says “where, don’t tell me your meeting the prod, ill fucking kill ya now if you are” no im not meeting him maggot he replies, “good” says maggot, so you will be coming with me, right” he goes to slap him again and say “right?” kyle agrees “ya, ya ok, ok maggot, whatever like” good replies maggot.
Maggot leaves the room and kyle lays back on the bed again, he opens his phone and begins to text “I cant make it” then looks at the text and deletes it again.
End.
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